With such massive price tags, these commercials better deliver.

On February 5 NBC will broadcast the epic rematch between the Giants and Patriots. But maybe your team didn’t make it to the big game. Will you still watch Super Bowl XLVI? Of course you will. You’ll watch for the same reason about 54% of viewers do — the commercials.

On one night each year the titans of marketing and advertising attempt to wow us with about 50 minutes of the most expensive commercials on television. NBC has sold out all commercial airtime for the big game, reporting that the average cost this year for a 30-second spot is $3.5 million, with some time slots costing as much as $4 million. That’s a 16 to 25% hike from the $3 million average cost last year. With such massive price tags, these commercials better deliver.

Companies know that a Super Bowl spot can make you or break you. In 2005, Go Daddy’s provocative spoof of the Janet Jackson wardrobe malfunction launched the fledgling company from single digits to nearly 50% share of the domain-name registry market, once again proving that you rarely go wrong throwing a bunch of hot, half-naked women at the screen. Go Daddy reportedly saw a 136% boost in site traffic, and went on to become the largest web hosting firm in the world.

But simply spending millions on a commercial doesn’t guarantee success. Groupon caught flak after last year’s Super Bowl commercial, with its seemingly disrespectful take on the unrest in Tibet. CEO Andrew Mason began Groupon as a way to raise money for various philanthropic organizations. Groupon eventually changed its focus to saving consumers money and grew into the $1.35 billion company it is today. Capitalistic sellout? Sure — but the company does retain a philanthropic side. In the 2011 commercial Groupon attempted to poke fun at itself, but instead presented a confusing message and offended millions of potential consumers.

Groupon will recover from last year’s blunder but other companies have not been so lucky. One of the Super Bowl’s worst-received commercials of all time was Just For Feet’s “Kenya Mission” commercial — which, let’s face it, was a bit racist — during Super Bowl XXXIII in 1999. Just For Feet sued its advertising agency, Saatchi and Saatchi, saying it had relied on the agency’s expertise against its judgment. The suit was later dropped, and Just For Feet filed for bankruptcy. Now it’s Just Forgotten.

Some companies spend a surprising percentage of their entire annual marketing budget on a 30-second Super Bowl spot. With that kind of money on the line, they have to get it right. This year NBC has raised the stakes through the roof with prices for precious airtime at an all-time high. So, even though I’d be happy to see the Giants and the Patriots fall flat, I’ll tune in like the rest of America to see what can go memorably right — or painfully wrong — with a little creativity, a bit of daring and millions of dollars.

Paul Pomeroy weighs in on a couple of car ads.

As a guy who works in advertising I often get asked by family, friends, acquaintances and perfect strangers to offer my opinion on current ads in the marketplace. I find this funny because, unlike most people, when I meet doctors, lawyers and auto mechanics, I don’t find a way to wedge questions related to lumps on my back, clauses in my will or an incessant knocking noise coming from under the hood of my car into the course of casual conversation. But whatever. Most advertising people are raving narcissistic know-it-alls who are more than happy to share their opinions on just about anything — especially good ads vs. sucky ads.

OK, that really just describes me. And that brings me to the point of this post.

Good ads can’t be everything to all people. Nor should they be. When digesting marketing material, we make constant use of our eyelids and earlids; we focus like a laser on material that is relevant to us and filter out everything else. Ever notice how when you’re looking for a car all you see or hear are car ads? But when you’re not — white noise.

Therein lies the value — and the importance — of knowing your target market and effectively positioning your value proposition in a smart, concise and memorable way.

So what’s a good example of this? Let’s stick with cars. You may remember the most recent (and final) Mercury car campaign built on the theme line: “You gotta put Mercury on your list.”

You gotta put Mercury on your list? That’s like a high school junior (let’s call him Paul P.) going up to a senior girl and saying, “Hey, when you’re thinking about guys that you’d like to spend some time with over the weekend, I hope you’ll consider giving me a call.” Two words: dead end. I know.

So with apologies to the delightful Jill Wagner — who did all she could to salvage that campaign — a weak value proposition, bad execution and fuzzy definition of the target audience sank this campaign. Sucky ad.

And in case you haven’t noticed, Mercury cars are no longer being manufactured.

Now let’s look at an example of an effective ad populating the auto space:

To be clear, if you’re an urban hipster or a midlife crisis baby boomer looking for a car, this ad wasn’t intended for you. If, however, you’ve recently been to a grade school open house, signed someone up for karate lessons or loaded your DVR with reruns of the Wizards of Waverly Place, you may be a little choked up right now. Good ad.

Have an ad you’re wondering about? Contact AB&C and maybe I’ll check it out and offer an opinion. Who am I kidding? I’ll definitely offer an opinion.

Disclaimer: The opinions in this post are solely those of the author and not of any of his co-workers or other industry colleagues who may cringe while reading this post. Please be sure to formulate your own opinion on all products and product advertising featured here — which is, of course, the entire point of advertising in the first place.

Making Hospital Commercials Memorable

What commercials stick out the most in your memory? Maybe it’s “Keep your hands off my Doritos!” Maybe it’s the Geico cavemen spots. What makes them memorable? That’s easy — they’re funny.

Now, when’s the last time you told a friend, “Oh, man, you should see this hospital commercial!” Exactly. Healthcare-related ads are typically very subdued: a panoramic view of a hospital floor, smiling doctors and nurses, high-tech equipment, etc. A soothing voice assures you that, as a patient, you’ll receive the best care possible. Ho-hum.

Is there another way to get that message across?

Fauquier Health in Virginia seemed to think so. While their message is typical —you are a priority, your care is personalized — their delivery is anything but. Instead of pleasant but forgettable images of their own facilities, Fauquier’s TV commercials depict just the opposite: a factory-like hospital treating patients on an assembly line. In one spot, anonymous patients roll by doctors in hard hats who shout instructions across the factory floor (“This one’s goin’ to x-ray!”). In another spot, pregnant women are treated like cattle. A nurse hands out cups to mothers without making eye contact, mechanically chanting, “Ice chips. Ice chips.” A doctor almost cruelly flashes a newborn at its mother then tosses the baby into a passing bassinet.

Not what you would expect from a hospital. But, no doubt, you can relate to being treated impersonally in a healthcare setting. So, while there’s no word yet on whether these spots have had an impact on Fauquier’s bottom line, they’re probably gonna stick in your mind.

A lesson in bad advertising.

Another car brand is on the chopping block. Ford has announced that it intends to discontinue the venerable Mercury brand.  Mercury’s recent ad campaign—a bad one—didn't help the cause.  My apologies to Jill Wagner...it really wasn’t your fault.  Instead, a weak value proposition and bad execution did in the campaign.

You gotta put Mercury on your list? Their entire campaign was built around the premise of asking (almost begging) you to just consider their product in your selection set. Hardly instills confidence. That’s like a high school junior (let’s call him Paul P.) going up to a senior girl that he likes and saying, “Hey, this Friday when you’re thinking about guys that you’d like to spend some time with over the weekend, I hope you’ll consider giving me a call.” Two words: dead end. Trust me, I know.

Too bad, because Mercury has done it right before. Here Farrah shows the right way to do it. Better ad = better results. This Cougar XR-7 model went on to set sales records.

Changing the way they advertise.

Everyone wants to reach the top. Mountain climbers have always set their sights on conquering Mt. Everest. Baseball players have always aimed for the World Series. Big companies have always budgeted to advertise during the Super Bowl.

Until now. Pepsi is ending its 23-year run as an advertising staple during the most watched television event of the year. According to the Wall Street Journal, the soft-drink powerhouse is moving its advertising dollars online to kick off the “Pepsi Refresh Project” that will “award grant money for community projects proposed and selected by consumers, such as helping high-school students publish books to develop their writing skills.”

ESPN reports that the website will go live on January 13, and voting will start February 1 to determine which projects receive money.

A 30-second spot during the Super Bowl costs an estimated $3 million and reaches 98.7 million viewers. Pepsi’s new cause-related initiative is reported to use up at least $20 million of its 2010 marketing budget. Apparently, Pepsi has noticed all of us flocking to the Internet for every purpose imaginable. No doubt this site will draw hundreds of thousands of applicants who want to win these grants. Of course, when Pepsi awards the money, it’s a huge PR coup. Most likely Pepsi will plant its name on each winning community outreach program, bestowing an almost sponsor-like status upon itself — for a lot longer than 30 seconds.

We all love watching what agencies come up with for Super Bowl ads, but that tradition may be dying as big companies bail — FedEx has also opted out of the big game. Whether or not the giant courier will sponsor its own cause-related initiative remains to be seen.

Did you notice the change in tune?

We’ve all seen the Geico commercials with people being stalked by the little stack of money with eyes, reminding them of the money they could have saved by switching to Geico. Have you noticed a certain change in the reception that “Kash” has received from the person being followed? I have and, frankly, I’m not sure what to make of it.

When this campaign launched, people seemed to be a little leery of the creepy money as it snuck up on them. Here’s one of the original ads.

Now, check out one of their ads from the second round of this campaign. See the difference? The person who could be saving that money is now welcoming Kash, instead of freaking out — which makes total sense.

This demonstrates the power of focus group testing — albeit a little late in the game. In retrospect, you have to wonder why Kash was ever creepy at all. But Geico is known for dishing out some serious cash for multiple campaigns at once, so they probably didn’t feel too much of an impact here. Still, imagine spending a year’s worth of marketing dollars before testing to see how the public will perceive your ideas. Oops!

Using sex to sell Hardee's

Sex. Duh.

And it was proven yet again with the latest ad from the fast food chain Hardee’s. If you haven’t seen it yet, you should definitely check it out. It features Top Chef host Padma Lakshmi...umm...enjoying one of Hardee’s new hamburgers.

I’m sure this phenomenon is not news to any of you. If it is, I’m sorry. Either way, Karlene Lukovitz, a writer for MediaPost Publications, wrote a good article about the new commercial and it’s worth a quick read.

Now, how can we make tobacco cessation and highway safety sexy? Think, people!

The reality of cruises

Think of any Caribbean cruise TV commercial you’ve ever seen. Most likely you’d envision endless “beautiful people” cavorting in sky-deck swimming pools, working out in floating fitness centers and toasting each other in seagoing gourmet restaurants. After spending a vacation day aboard a well-advertised cruise line ship, I’m here to tell you: Nothing could be further from reality. During the last week of February, I attended a wedding aboard a colossal pleasure craft that sat docked in the Port of Tampa, which gave me a few fleeting hours to drink in the surroundings. The ship was about to set sail and wedding guests were granted temporary access to witness the ceremony.

This gave me the opportunity to spy on the hordes of excited passengers boarding the ship—and each was more than ready to cannonball headfirst into the party atmosphere that awaited them on this week-long trip for the budget-minded. Some groups arrived draped in Mardi Gras beads. Most of the male passengers I saw wore T-shirts proudly promoting every sports franchise from the Milwaukee Bucks to the Knoxville Ice Bears. And instead of nonstop beautiful people, I saw dozens of folks in wheelchairs, on oxygen and strapped to what appeared to be hand trucks. (I’m guessing there may have been a few machines free in the fitness center during this cruise.)

I learned that each cruise ship has its own unique theme. My ship was created to honor the “legends” of Hollywood’s cinematic past. The boat’s interior design can only be described as Studio 54 disco meets Graceland, with a heaping side order of RuPaul thrown in. The soaring main lobby featured four glass-enclosed elevators that were every bit as ornate as one of Loretta Lynn’s engagement ring settings. Everything on the ship – from the piped-in dance music to the air conditioning to the beer taps – was already pumping full blast.

The universal currency of this entire enterprise was the English language. Talk about a floating United Nations. One thousand crew members of almost every nationality scurried about in an effort to serve the 2,000 newly arrived passengers. And every worker had a specialty. The more menial the task, the less likely the crew member was to speak English. For example, the instant a tropical drink accidentally hit the deck, along came a young foreign kid with a wet mop, followed by a damp mopper, followed by a dry mopper. Just don’t ask these moppers where the sky deck is.

I figured most of the guests had probably never been near a body of water as vast as the Gulf of Mexico, nor been waited on by such an army of eager-to-please cocktail servers. The actual cruise experience may be worlds away from its upscale TV depiction, but this crowd didn’t seem to mind. You could readily tell that the majority of these partying passengers bought the cruise ship’s sales pitch hook, line and sinker.

The E*Trade Baby

During the month of March, most of America’s sports-minded souls have found themselves “on the road to The Final Four.” I heard that CBS-TV broadcast 96 hours of college basketball action in one weekend alone.

And, if you’re part of an NCAA office pool, you’ve probably spent a lot of those 96 hours glued to your TV. That’s because gambling helps the sports world go ‘round.Which brings me to the ubiquitous E*TRADE TV spots starring the wisecracking “trading baby.” Love him or hate him, you can’t go a TV sports half-hour without seeing this computer-enhanced, smart-mouthed toddler. Are you like me? Do you wait for a new E*TRADE spot to debut so you can see what nutty high jinks the kid is up to next?

Catch some baby outtakes at etrade.com/baby.

But the whole thing leaves me wondering, how many consumers know who the baby is but not the brand he’s pushing? So the big question is, do the continuing adventures of this kid really move the sales needle for E*TRADE? Does this sort of approach engender trust in a financial services company? Or are the E*TRADE folks simply the biggest gamblers of all?